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Archive for June, 2010

Well, thanks to the warnings of our friend Allison, I was denied the awkwardness of attending breastfeeding class — and subsequently felt like a jerk when only one other husband was absent, and he’s deployed by the military, but I digress — so the What I Learned At Baby School series has been reduced by one chapter.

But we have now successfully completed Baby University, and though we were not required to pass a test or anything, I feel fairly confident we are now capable of keeping our son alive and mostly unharmed, at least until he can walk.
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It should come as no surprise to those who know us that we are decorating our son’s nursery with a sports theme — sports bedding, sports memorabilia, vintage sports photos (if we ever get around to ordering those).

What might come as a surprise, though, is the fact that I’ve felt somewhat conflicted about doing so. I don’t want to ever feel that I’ve forced anything on him, and although I was a sports fan almost from my first day out of the womb, I know it’s not for everyone. Maybe he’ll be into the arts, or prefer outdoors activities like hunting and fishing. I hope he wants to play baseball and football and golf, or basketball or tennis or soccer, but if he doesn’t, he doesn’t, and that’s OK.

But if he ever asks why we decorated his first bedroom with a sports theme, I think I have an answer. I’ll show him this video, and if he cries like a baby like his dad did when he watched it, he’ll understand:

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If you read my last post, you know we attended an all-day class Saturday entitled “Prepared Childbirth,” which loosely translates to “Scaring the Bejesus Out of New Parents-To-Be.”

We sat through several videos documenting the “amazing process,” and despite the pretty blatant bias toward natural childbirth, I’m fairly certain the moms-to-be left the room thinking epidurals are the single most important medical breakthrough in the history of mankind.
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It’s time for a busy baby weekend.

We’re out the door in a few minutes for an all-day prepared childbirth class, where we will get “an overview of the anatomy and physiology” and an explanation of the process of labor and delivery in simple, easy-to-understand terms.

Terms like “woozy,” “light-headed,” and “pass out,” are the simple, easy-to-understand terms I’m most concerned about. I’m more than a little squeamish, and I’ve been known to react in a strange manner to the sight of blood, though it’s typically my own blood that freaks me out the most. I’m hopeful they’ll have some tips for guys like me.

Other than that, I’m most concerned about paying attention to exactly where we’re supposed to go when the day of reckoning comes. I fully expect end-of-the-world style chaos en route to Savannah, and by the time we’ve navigated our way to the hospital, the frogs and locusts should be flying at me a million miles per hour. If I pull up to the wrong door at Memorial Health … God help us all.

So that’s the anxiety-riddled portion of our busy baby weekend. The fun part comes Sunday, when we head over to our friends the Braggs’ house for what is supposed to be a couples shower type thing.

No, seriously, we’ve tried to make it clear this is not to be a typical baby shower, with the silly games and such, and that dudes are not only encouraged but expected to attend and assist in the charring of animal flesh over an open fire. I hope my friends don’t think I’m trying to bait them into something undesirable.

This is our first shower — Megan will also have one at work later this week — and it’s one of the real downsides to living so far away from family that we won’t be able to share the experience with so many of the people we love. But we hope this blog and BabyJarrett.com have helped you feel like part of the process, and we’ll do our best as the chaos settles in to keep you posted on our progress through the magic of the interweb.

I have designs (which are probably delusions) on keeping a live blog of sorts on delivery day, but that goes out the window if I pass out. So let’s try to get through this class first, and I’ll get back to you on that.

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